A Hurricane’s a Comin’

 It was headed straight for us. 

Aunt Lesley and Grandma sat glued to the television day and night, watching the weather reports. 

Aunt Lesley began her yearly hurricane preparations. She stocks up on ravioli every year, but this storm was bigger than ravioli. 

Yes, every day, for five days (sometimes twice a day as her nerves dictated), she ran to the grocery store to stock up on food and other necessities. For some reason, her purchases included some forty-eight rolls of toilet tissue—just in case. She believes in being prepared. 

With each trip to the store, the shelves emptied. 

First to go, of course, was the bottled water. Now, we already had forty gallons of Zephyrhills water sitting in the garage. (After all, we had to drink also.)

Since there was no water to be had, she stocked up on juice, every kind she could grab off the shelf before the next person. 

Aunt Lesley even brought home a supply of Pepsi that could quench the thirst of one hundred people, which wouldn’t have been so bad except that neither she nor Grandma drank Pepsi. 

In desperation, she made one last trip to the store the day before the hurricane was due to strike. 

She bought whatever was left:

yams (institutional size);

green beans (which she hates);

dinosaur-shaped macaroni in cans (the kind that kids eat);

large-size cans of pork and beans;

and reduced-fat peanut butter. 

She also stocked up on plenty of energy foods to fight off the storm—Yodels (her favorite), Drake’s cakes, cookies, and pies. 

She forgot nothing. 

She even brought in a supply of Zantac and Imodium. You know, just in case.

While Aunt Lesley was buying out Publix, Grandma was buying out Pet Supermarket. 

She figured two hundred pounds of dry dog food and fifty cans of Pedigree would be enough. And she placed it all in the living room, right next to those forty-eight rolls of toilet paper. 

Now, the dry food, she thought, would not go to waste. After all, we ate it every night.

Then Grandma opened a bag. They changed the recipe! And we wouldn’t eat it!

Their last mission was a trip to Walmart to buy a Sterno stove (to cook those yams). They got a cooler and some ice packs to store Alex’s extra insulin for her diabetes. 

Now finally finished, there was food and supplies stacked everywhere.

The storm grew closer. 

It was time to bring in anything that wasn’t nailed down. Plants, porch furniture, the birds, bicycles – you name it, and it was in the living room right next to the toilet paper and the two hundred pounds of dog food that nobody would eat. All that remained outside was the spa.

Exhausted but ready, they both sat by the TV, waiting and watching the weather channel. We were, too; however, we couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about. 

8 p.m.

9 p.m.

10 p.m. and the storm grew closer. 

11 p.m., 12 a.m., and 1 a.m. came and went. 

It was nerve-wracking, and finally, Aunt Lesley couldn’t wait any longer. She had to break open the Yodels! 

By 5 a.m., the storm had turned, and it completely missed us. 

Relieved, yet frustrated because of all the work she’d done, Aunt Lesley immediately went on a Yodel binge.

Well, as the storm moved past us and traveled up the coast, she and Grandma began to take stock and decide just what to do with all their supplies. 

The dog food could be exchanged. 

And the toilet paper would, how does one delicately say, be used? 

But, neither of them had a plan for those yams.

Well, one thing’s for sure—they were all ready for Y2K… 

• • •

This story is actually chapter 7 in Tia Talks — My Life in a Multi-breed Family. There are 20 more stories in her book. Yes, it’s hers because Tia does the talking. You can read them all if you have the book. I’ve made it easy — just click below ↓

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—Lesley💞 

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